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	<title>Coldmash.com Blogs</title>
	<link>http://coldmash.com</link>
	<description>Shut up and make some news!</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Tue, 29 Dec 2009 22:09:13 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>Obama Says Attempted Terror Attack Proves Need for Airline Public Option</title>
		<description><![CDATA[







After an attempted terror attack on Christmas day, President Obama said in a press conference that the episode is clear proof that the airline industry needs a public option.
&#8220;This is a failed system,&#8221; said Obama.  &#8220;Failure to reform it will only mean that more people will die.  Right now millions of people don&#8217;t have access [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://coldmash.com/blog/2009/12/29/obama-says-attempted-terror-attack-proves-need-for-airline-public-option/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Max Baucus Reveals He is Really Bacchus, God of Wine, Speaks Drunk on Senate Floor</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Senator Max Baucus shocked the world last week when he revealed that he is actually Bacchus, the Roman God of Wine.  Senator Baucus is actually the secret identity taken by Bacchus, as he has wandered the world experience life among mortals.
&#8220;Yesh, it&#8217;sh true,&#8221; said Bacchus.  &#8220;I am really Bathus the God of Wines.  And thersh [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://coldmash.com/blog/2009/12/28/max-baucus-reveals-he-is-really-bacchus-god-of-wine-speaks-drunk-on-senate-floor/</link>
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		<title>UN Agreement on Copenhagen Outlaws Santa Claus Sleigh</title>
		<description><![CDATA[

The meeting of world leaders in Copenhagen to combat climate change, global warming, temperature variation, and unexpected storm activity, resulted in a signed agreement that included a page known as the &#8220;Santa Claus Clause&#8221;, which outlaws Santa from using his sleigh in order to combat the forces of nature.
&#8220;Let me be clear,&#8221; said President Obama.  [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://coldmash.com/blog/2009/12/23/un-agreement-on-copenhagen-outlaws-santa-claus-sleigh/</link>
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		<title>Kim Jong Il Steps Down After Stongly Worded Letter From Obama</title>
		<description><![CDATA[

North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Il, announced today that he is stepping down after receiving a strongly worded letter from President Obama.
&#8220;It is time for me to relinquish control of North Korea,&#8221; said Kim Jong Il through a translator.  &#8220;Mr. Obama sent me the most strongly worded letter I have ever received.  Honestly, I&#8217;m quite [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://coldmash.com/blog/2009/12/16/kim-jong-il-steps-down-after-stongly-worded-letter-from-obama/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Bush Makes Republicans Sole Beneficiaries in New Will, Obama Cannot Inherit Any Further Messes</title>
		<description><![CDATA[



Image by Getty Images via Daylife



Former President George W. Bush announced today that he has officially changed his will and named Republicans as the sole beneficiaries.  Tormented by the constant references of Barack Obama to &#8220;inherited messes&#8221;, Mr. Bush decided to change his will to save further annoyance.
&#8220;President Obama claims to have inherited every bad [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://coldmash.com/blog/2009/12/08/bush-makes-republicans-sole-beneficiaries-in-new-will-obama-cannot-inherit-any-further-messes/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>White House to Fight Unemployment by Adding Public Option Called Employcare</title>
		<description><![CDATA[

After a fruitful Jobs Summit, President Obama announced that his Administration has already come up with a remedy for the millions of unemployed.  He will ask Congress to pass a bill that requires all Americans to have a job.  And the bill will require employers to hire individuals, regardless of pre-existing employment history.  He also [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://coldmash.com/blog/2009/12/04/white-house-to-fight-unemployment-by-adding-public-option-called-employcare/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Sandy Berger Responsible for Stealing Climategate Documents in Underpants</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
Investigators announced that Sandy Berger has now been identified as the individual responsible for stealing and leaking the Climategate emails showing that climate scientists have been lying about scientific data, subverting the peer review process, and being smug wankers.
Mr. Berger visited the CRU earlier this year and managed to hide the data files in his [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://coldmash.com/blog/2009/12/02/sandy-berger-responsible-for-stealing-climategate-documents-in-underpants/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Obama Sending 30,000 Troops to Afghanistan and 5,000 Journalists to Fox News</title>
		<description><![CDATA[

President Obama announced that he will be sending 30,000 more troops to help fight the war in Afghanistan today.  He will also send 5,000 journalists to fight the war against Fox News.  Democrats fear both strategies could end in a quagmire.
&#8220;I think it&#8217;s time to withdraw on both fronts,&#8221; said a Democrat senator who wished [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://coldmash.com/blog/2009/12/01/obama-sending-30000-troops-to-afghanistan-and-5000-journalists-to-fox-news/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Shallow Thoughts, by Barack Obama: Global Warming</title>
		<description><![CDATA[



Image by harold.lloyd (won&#8217;t somebody think of the bokeh?) via Flickr



Someone asked me once if I really believed in global warming.  I yelled and screamed at that person at the top of my lungs until they cried and ran away.  I wasn&#8217;t too sure about the whole global warming thing, but I couldn&#8217;t tell them [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://coldmash.com/blog/2009/12/01/shallow-thoughts-by-barack-obama-global-warming/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Climate Scientists Fear We May Have Already Died Based on New Warming Data</title>
		<description><![CDATA[

Climate scientists made a shocking discovery today: we are probably already dead based on new climate data numbers coming in from recent measurements.
&#8220;It&#8217;s even worse than I feared,&#8221; said Dr. Notid Skamartest of the United Nations Climate and World Control Council.  &#8220;According to these new temperature measurements, we have all been killed by the effects [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://coldmash.com/blog/2009/11/30/climate-scientists-fear-we-may-have-already-died-based-on-new-warming-data/</link>
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