Tag Archives: fox news

Dec200901

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Obama Sending 30,000 Troops to Afghanistan and 5,000 Journalists to Fox News

Fox News Channel controversies

President Obama announced that he will be sending 30,000 more troops to help fight the war in Afghanistan today.  He will also send 5,000 journalists to fight the war against Fox News.  Democrats fear both strategies could end in a quagmire.

“I think it’s time to withdraw on both fronts,” said a Democrat senator who wished to remain anonymous.  “Both wars are impossible to win, and we’re just putting lives at risk.  The Taliban can continue to hide in their caves and wait us out.  Fox News can continue to broadcast damaging information about Obama, and not enough people watch the other networks to allow the 5,000 journalists to reach a significant audience.”

Due to the failing economics in the news industry, Obama had no problem recruiting 5,000 journalists to send to the war on Fox News.  “This is the right war at the right time,” said President Obama.  “Our young men and women in the media are the future of this country.  We should be proud of the work their doing to fight against a common enemy, Fox News.  Our allies support us in this fight, and we will win this war.”

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Nov200918

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Obama Declares National Debt Too Big to Fail

Reported Deficits vs.

After reaching over $12 trillion dollars in size, President Obama declared that the federal debt is too big to fail and should be given a bailout.

“Our country cannot afford to have the national debt fail,” said Obama.  “The consequences would be disastrous.  If the debt fails, then that would set off a chain reaction around the world with catastrophic results.  We need a bailout package in order to stabilize the health of the debt so that it doesn’t go under.  It doesn’t matter how much we need to borrow in order to keep it alive, as the alternative is unfathomable.  I am asking Congress to approve a $4 trillion dollar bailout package that will be given to the debt.  The money can be borrowed from the current deficit and repaid over time with tax increases on the wealthy.”

When a Fox News reporter asked if it made sense to borrow money in order to save debt, she was shouted down by other journalists.  But President Obama did respond to the question, explaining that “I made a promise to the American people, and I intend to keep that promise.  Can you imagine what would happen if we didn’t borrow that money to save the debt?  You can run your confusing and biased stories all you want, but that doesn’t change the fact that this nation as we know it may come to an end if we don’t take action now.”

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