27-Year-Old California Man Drowns in Debt, State Warns More May Follow

Larry Shovelfield of Fresno, California, drowned in debt over the weekend at his home.  Mr. Shovelfield was known as a strong swimmer who was on the swim team as an adolescent, but the amount of debt was apparently too much for him to overcome. 

“He was a very strong swimmer,” said his brother, Steve.  “He could handle a $15 billion deficit, maybe even $16 or $17 billion.  But a $21 billion budget deficit was just more than he could handle.  I’m sure he struggled as long as he could, but in the end he just couldn’t keep his head above the California state deficit.  $21 billion is too much to ask anyone to survive.  We would like to sue the state of California for killing Larry, but winning a lawsuit would only grow the deficit larger and risk having more people drown in debt.”

State safety officials are investigating the incident, but they are treating it as an accident.  They cautioned California residents to stop electing Socialists and take basic economics classes to prevent future tragedies.  “Californians seem to have problems with basic economic realities,” said Ned Cromwell of the California Safety Bureau.  “If you elect officials who spend too much money, vote for ballot initiatives that put the state further into debt, and drive revenue producers from your state, you end up with enough debt to drown people.  Even good swimmers like Mr. Shovelfield.  Unfortunately, I think we’re going to find more drowning victims in the future.  I only hope the entire population doesn’t fall victim.”