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Sometimes I think it might be interesting to bow to everyone you meet instead of just shaking hands.  I bet it makes them feel really really important.  You’d probably have to be careful in Japan though.  Because they might think you’re challenging them to a fight or something, and well, I don’t really know karate.

“I’m tired of hearing all of the speculation about the bow,” said Obama.  “So I’m just going to come clean and admit the truth.  And the truth is that my staff provided me with a high tech teleprompter that is integrated into the top of my shoe and allows me to subtly glance down for my lines.  It is much easier than hiring a staff to carry my teleprompters all over the world.  Unfortunately, the damn thing malfunctioned and decreased the font size of the text to the point where I couldn’t read it.  I was frozen, unsure what I was supposed to say next, who I was talking to, or even what country I was in.  So I quickly bent over while shaking hands with this gentleman in order to read what I was supposed to say.  I had no idea it would cause such an incident, but the technical glitch has been fixed, and I can read the shoe teleprompter just fine now.”