Gore Says Water on Moon Proves Lunar Warming, Requires Action to Reduce Mobile Phone Signals

NASA announced that water was discovered on the moon, and Al Gore has indicated that this shocking news shows that lunar warming is happening and could have devastating effects if we don’t take immediate drastic measures.

“Things are worse than I thought,” said Gore.  “There should only be frozen ice on the moon, not water.  Now the moon has a fever too, and it’s because of too many mobile phone signals.  My chart will prove that as mobile phone usage has increased, so has the lunar temperature and melting ice.  We must find a way to reduce this damaging greenhouse signal from mobile phones, or soon the entire moon will melt and kill all of us.  I have begun raising another $500 million investment fund to explore alternative communication technologies to replace mobile phones.  In the meantime, I am asking Congress and world governments to join me in calling for legislation to require the world to reduce its mobile footprint by limiting mobile phone use and targeting Big Mobile companies for fines and taxes.  We need to move to safer satellite phone technology instead.  I know it is much more expensive and not as efficient as digital mobile phones currently in use, but we must quickly move to this technology or we will destroy ourselves within ten months.  At that time, we will hit a tipping point with lunar warming that will be impossible to reverse.”

Mr. Gore has already begun investing in satellite phone technology companies and creating “mobile credits” companies that allow individuals to offset their mobile phone usage by paying others not to use their mobile phones.  The scientific community has reached a consensus that lunar warming is happening and is caused by mobile phones.  Some lunar deniers refuse to accept Mr. Gore’s ideas on warming and think he is simply demonizing Big Mobile in order to make money and control the populace.  The Senate has decided to set aside the Cap and Trade legislation and focus on a new “Cap and Call” legislation that penalizes companies who go over their mobile minutes.  Mr. Gore also said he will be releasing a new documentary in 2010 called “An Inconvenient Dropped Call” that will focus on the science and consequences of lunar warming caused by mobile phones.

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