Feinstein Gets Tough with 49ers; Iran Takes Notice
SAN FRANCISCO, California — Crowds cheered today as US Senator Diane Feinstein vowed to do everything she could to keep the San Francisco 49ers from moving down the street to Santa Clara, including legislation or lawsuits to prevent them from using the name 49ers or the city of San Francisco in their title. Iranian leaders took notice of the tough stance by Feinstein.
"Now that Democrats control Congress, it’s time to tackle some important issues," said Feinstein. "Why a private organization thinks it can just up and move from a city and take that city name and heritage with it is beyond me. I’ll do whatever it takes to make them suffer if they decide to leave. Next time maybe they’ll ask my permission before making such a decision. This serves notice to any other business in San Francisco that I’m coming after you with the strength of the Feds if you try to relocate without running it by me first."
An official within Iran also took notice of the event. "This makes me very nervous," said the official, who wished to remain anonymous. "Now that the Democrats are in power, they obviously intend to tackle the big issues of the day. I fear our days of developing nuclear weapons might be numbered. Bush was never so tough, and I think we may regret getting what we wished for with this election."
