John Kerry Plans Swift Boat Rescue Mission for Stranded Soldiers
IRAQ — After seeing a picture of soldiers in Iraq holding up a sign for help on Drudge Report, John Kerry announced his plan to put together a swift boat mission to save the soldiers.
"John Kerry, reporting for duty," said Kerry. "I apologized for my botched joke, but now you can see plain as day that we have some helpless and uneducated soldiers stuck in Iraq who need my help. I’m planning a swift boat mission to get those folks out of there. If successful, I might get back the medals that were thrown over the White House fence all those years ago. Tell those poor souls that I’m on my way. They’re fortunate that I can still understand the sign after the Bush education policy obviously failed to educate them."
