San Francisco Releases Lions to Kill Christian Teens Rallying in San Francisco
SAN FRANCISCO, California — 25,000 Christian children who were gathered at a peaceful event in San Francisco were devoured by lions after city officials released the animals to rid the streets of these pests.
"I was so enraged," said Moonbeam Sphinktor, a San Francisco resident who brought a megaphone and a pitchfork to protest the Christian children. "This is a place of tolerance and love. I’m sickened that these little Christian bastards would have the nerve to show up in our city and talk about moral values. Thankfully, our supervisors and mayor put an end to their filth and released lions into the streets to kill them all. It was awesome. I’m firmly against the death penalty or prisons for that matter, but some people just need to die. Like Christian children. And George Bush. And unborn babies."
City officials donated the leftover body parts to the 3 million homeless people living in San Francisco for a free meal, allowing more of their free monthly cash subsidy to be spent on drugs. The lions will be euthanized by PETA and thrown in dumpsters around California.
